Patience has and is testing me this week!! The pain has been really bad. Earlier this week I started to run out of meds and called the on-call doctor who said of course you need to take it every 4 hours, the surgery was so invasive that you'll be in intense pain for at least another week. I said oh ok so I don't have to feel like some crazy crack head needing to take my meds every 4 hours on the dot. Although I did talk to him about if a patient has such intensive surgery you should prescribe enough to last through a weekend w/ a holiday. I was NOT happy they didn't figure this out earlier. So I had to continuously count out my meds like some druggie to figure out how I could draw out what I had left to last me until Tuesday. It was painful but I was able to struggle through it. Tuesday was great news though. Out of the 18 polyps they removed only 1 of them was severely cancerous. Which means it had only spread to 1 polyp so far which they are hopeful about since there were so many. Radiation treatments are coming up in October. I will have to have patience until them and heal and then again patience will need to kick in as I will have to be isolated from EVERYONE no matter what for 4 days. They told me its actually the law and I have to commit to it and sign by law I will not expose myself to anyone while under radiation. Little scary but my appt is the first week of October so I'll know more then. Patience :\
During the weekend we also found the PERFECT house to rent. 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, front yard w/ a fence and 2 stories!!! It was also an older Victorian looking home. I fell in love with it! And at only $1100 a month it was in our price range. I called and later we stopped by the house and it was fantastic. The owner who said he was almost 80 said it would be available in a couple weeks. Perfect! I said we really are very interested, I'd like to tell my current landlord and call you when I get home. I said please give me an hour and don't let anyone steal it out from underneath us. He said no I wont just call me within a couple of days. I said Oh no, I'll be calling you in an hour to confirm. So I talked to my landlord who said he was very sad to see us go but knew we needed more room and then I called the old man back and he tells me its already rented. I literally stood there frozen in my room. You have GOT to be kidding me. I told him but I told you I would call you in 1 hour and not to let anyone steal it from us!!!! he says um uhhh um um... I said this is exactly what I said would happen and I'm very disappointed especially since I specifically told you I would call you within one hour. I said did they already pay you? "well no" I said well we have the deposit and rent ready now! He says well call me in a couple of days to see if they didn't want the house for some reason. I was like ok bye! GRRR I KNEW they weren't going to "not" want the house because they had been back twice in one day just like us because it was such an amazing deal!!! I cried. Hard. Then off and on again for a couple hours. I was just SO crushed that this cute Victorian home had been stolen from right underneath us and in less than an hour!
Later I decided to look online and see if I could find anything else. Chris had been suggestion I do that since I was so hurt and that surely there was something else out there. So I did and found another great house! 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 1700 sq feet!!!!! only $1,000 a month, even better. I talked to the owner twice and even told him about this house I lost and he was like oh that is terrible. He said he has received tons of calls but since he hasn't been able to show the house that hes not sure if anyone is interested still. I told him I was. He had to go and wanted me to call him back so later I did and we talked a little more. I told him of our flawless rental history and that we could get a recommendation from our landlord for him. Also that we've already owned property so we are very respectful that this is his home not ours and that we wont trash it and that we do our own light preventative maintenance. He said it was great and he really enjoyed talking to me & that his wife would email the applications. So I wait. and wait. and wait. By the next afternoon. Nothing. I am really eager to get this done since he said he had received so many calls! I call him that afternoon and leave him a message just letting him know I didn't get the email that night with the application and wanted to check that he had my email and I'm sure hes just been busy *butt kiss-butt kiss-butt kiss* but then I never heard from him. The next day I emailed him via the craigslist ad that was listed and said this is my email address in case he didn't have it, were very interested etc... bla bla bla!!!
Still I have not heard from him. The following day his voice mail was full. I'm like great!!! Just great!! I'd like to say this portion of the story ends well but were still waiting to hear. Last night I sent him an email saying I understand howmuch work he had to get done with his family and all the equipment he is selling from the previous property but that I was hoping to touch bases soon becaue I wanted to put in my 20 day notice (in WA only 20 days is required) by Friday. I said I know you had mentioned the only day you could meet there was Friday so I could have the applications and check ready and meet him there. I am really hoping I hear from him today. I tried his cell again this morning and again right to voicemail and voicemail is full. :( So my patience tests me once again. I've got my fingers crossed!!
Today my wonderful friend Jenny comes in from out of state to help me while I continue to heal. I can't wait to see her & catch up. I am SO grateful for her help. I still can't lift more than 8 lbs, turn my head more than a couple inches or drive. Hard to be a mom w/ that many limitations!!
Off to catch a few Zzz's before the wee one wakes up!!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Hurting Inside and Out
Sitting here TRYING to eat. My very best friend has left my side yet again. Our visits are usually about one time a year and they are never long enough. she was gracious enough to come out here and be at my side, helping me, my kids, staying in the hospital with me, cleaning up after my kid pukes and even showering with me and washing my butt. *giggles* yea she lucky. LOL!!!
Another dear friend Kim delivered some food earlier today and I made the bubble up pizza after Barbara left. Bubble up pizza is made with pillsbury dough cut up and w/ pizza goods on top. I had a terrible migraine and neck pain as Barbara said goodbye to me and I stood there sobbing. Besides missing her terribly the anxiety of her leaving my side during my healing tugged at my heart and ability to breath in... anxiety. She has been so amazing in my life, never judging me and always there with an ear no matter how much I've gone through in life. Sometimes you just find that golden friend that you can say anything to and never worry about what she may think about you because its never bad and always received with open arms and an open heart.
As the front door shut and I literally just stood there alone sobbing like an abandoned child for several minutes I decided I should try to eat and relax before the pain gets even worse. Popping the food into the already preheated oven I realized the heat from the oven, over the neck, not so good. :\ I sat and rubbed my neck and cried harder. Its amazing how many different emotions effect you from surgery alone not even counting the whole cancer part. Small things make you cry and feel anxiety. Its a lot of hurdles to get over yet you dont want to keep complaining about pain and anxiety, at least I dont. I try to be strong and happy and enjoy every minute I have with my friends and family.
Finally got to eat the pizza, guarding my neck as I pulled it out of the oven. I put it in a bowl since its biscuit pieces and tried to dry my tears so I didn't get the added salt to my food LoL I realized besides the pain on the inside from my friend leaving the pain was so bad I could barely open my jaw to put the fork inside. The pain has really radiated today. I missed taking my meds on time by just a couple hours but that in combination with crying left my neck stiff and hurting and my jaw seized and chin nerves stinging in pain. So I'm dealing with the pain inside and out and I try to shove the food into my teeth and know that someday soon my friend will come back to see me again soon and next time will be fun and not full of puke and butt washing. LOL
Another dear friend Kim delivered some food earlier today and I made the bubble up pizza after Barbara left. Bubble up pizza is made with pillsbury dough cut up and w/ pizza goods on top. I had a terrible migraine and neck pain as Barbara said goodbye to me and I stood there sobbing. Besides missing her terribly the anxiety of her leaving my side during my healing tugged at my heart and ability to breath in... anxiety. She has been so amazing in my life, never judging me and always there with an ear no matter how much I've gone through in life. Sometimes you just find that golden friend that you can say anything to and never worry about what she may think about you because its never bad and always received with open arms and an open heart.
As the front door shut and I literally just stood there alone sobbing like an abandoned child for several minutes I decided I should try to eat and relax before the pain gets even worse. Popping the food into the already preheated oven I realized the heat from the oven, over the neck, not so good. :\ I sat and rubbed my neck and cried harder. Its amazing how many different emotions effect you from surgery alone not even counting the whole cancer part. Small things make you cry and feel anxiety. Its a lot of hurdles to get over yet you dont want to keep complaining about pain and anxiety, at least I dont. I try to be strong and happy and enjoy every minute I have with my friends and family.
Finally got to eat the pizza, guarding my neck as I pulled it out of the oven. I put it in a bowl since its biscuit pieces and tried to dry my tears so I didn't get the added salt to my food LoL I realized besides the pain on the inside from my friend leaving the pain was so bad I could barely open my jaw to put the fork inside. The pain has really radiated today. I missed taking my meds on time by just a couple hours but that in combination with crying left my neck stiff and hurting and my jaw seized and chin nerves stinging in pain. So I'm dealing with the pain inside and out and I try to shove the food into my teeth and know that someday soon my friend will come back to see me again soon and next time will be fun and not full of puke and butt washing. LOL
Up All Night - Feeling Alright!
Its 6:45am. Haven't slept yet today and I decided to start my first blog. I'll probably be boring but I'm always thinking I should write down my thoughts so at least *I* can go back and remember things :)
Surgery was Monday morning. I was scared as hell. Shit, its over & I'm still scared. Like it was so added up that now I'm still stuck in this scared tunnel. Chris took me to the hospital. Barbara had arrived 2 nights before and I was grateful because I couldn't bear to say goodbye to my kids in the morning. I was so afraid I was going to die but didn't tell anyone cause of course I got the "geesh you're not going to die" yea fine, easy for you to say!!! You have NO idea how this feels! ugh!! Anyway, they gave me my complimentary bracelet & we waited nervously. There was another guy in the waiting room with his wife. They were in seperate chairs, obviously not in love like we are. Another Asian man who looked annoyed reading some tech magazine, an older man drinking coffee w/ his leg crossed and white hair who made me think of my grandpa. (I miss my grandpa) Another set of girls came in, probably in their late 20's who were surprisingly happy. One girl pulls out a bra and little pouches to show her friend how she would stuff it. I'm thinking, I wonder if she is getting a mastectomy or if she has cancer too. I wanted to ask her and kinda not be alone in this waiting room... as in not the only one waiting for cancer surgery. First guy was obviously having foot surgery and others were just "waiters" for whoever they came with. Although that didn't sound nice in my head, gee hope she has cancer too. I'd never even see the poor girl again. I never had enough courage to ask and her boobs were big so maybe she was getting a reduction? LOL She was far too happy to be getting a mastectomy I thought.
Studying the strange glass walls that looked like glass lined w/ spider web stuff from Halloween they finally called my name and I stood and swallowed hard as I followed the lady. I said can't my husband come? She said no we will come get him. Already welling up because I didn't want to go w/out him into the unknown I followed her into a tiny room where they gave me a garment bag and asked about my nose ring. I said I wanted to keep it in until surgery so it doesn't close and started to cry. She said is this too hard for you? Do you want your husband? I nodded as I sobbed silently and starred at the wall. She went and got a nurses approval to have him with me anyway and I got undressed and put on a gown and got into the tiny bed that was like ambulance sized. They covered me with a paper blanket that suddenly had a hose going into it and it was blowing hot air and filling up. I was glad cause I was shaking and watching the door for Chris' face to appear. He finally did and I said I was scared. He nodded, smiled and sat next to me while they asked me tons of questions about medication and family history.
An anesthesiologist came in with a bright do-rag on his head. Why do they always wear those? Everyone I've had always has. I smiled cause I thought it was funny and told him that I don't numb, don't respond to pain meds well and that my nerves are so sensitive that it hurts when someone even pokes my arm with their finger. Told him my mom and grandma are the same way and that for some reason doctors always like to make me go through a lot of pain before believing me and that I could feel part of my first c-section so if he could just believe me that it would be great. He said he would and said do you want something now for anxiety. Already crying I nodded cause I just couldn't take the stress. After he gave me 2 things I remember people talking but not much else. I know I was still awake but I think I already started blocking it from my memory. I remember my husband saying bye to me and being wheeled away thinking, please god, let me wake up and not die and leave him behind. I remember them moving me to another bed and saying "Mitzi, were moving you, this is like a raft....." and then I drifted back to sleep.
I woke up in my room and saw my husbands arm and my friend Dora. I called him over and I was scared and hoping that I wasn't dreaming. I even in my sleepy state told my friend how she looked thinner. They got a kick out of that! lol
The nurses came in every 2 hours to give me morphine which wasn't helping. I remembered how much pain I was in and it wasn't working. They tried percocet and dilaudid next with morphine in between. Never keeping it consistent with what they gave or even in time increments I was getting very frustrated. The next day I told the doctor I was in really bad pain and that's when they tried dilaudid and morphine only. He said they'd give it to me all day consistently every 4 hours or so. That whole night was terrible.
I had several visitors this 2nd day which was nice because when I had Ethan I was very lonely and cried because no one came to see me. Now I am blessed to have so many more friends who came to comfort me. One friend showed with her 3 year old daughter which gave me anxiety because she was being adorable and dancing around but I was afraid she was going to bump my bed or jump up on it and pull my drains. I told my friend and she of course understood and moved her daughter to the side of the room. But then my mom shows up w/ my kids and Barbara. Both my kids look terrified and this immediately sent me into an anxiety attack. They said surprise and I wanted to cry my eyes out. My kids looked so freaked out, I couldn't move and now my room was full of people (5 adults & 3 kids not counting me) Ethan ran to my mom around my bed and Dylan was immediately at my side saying "hi mommy, are you ok?" I was so upset. I knew this was supposed to be a nice surprise but it was so stressful for me and my poor babies faces were terrified. My mom was trying to hug me and Dylan was trying to cling to me and I lost it. I just started sobbing SO loud. I couldn't handle the anxiety of all these kids in my room and the pain. My friend with the 3 year old left and I felt terrible for making her feel bad and then my mom says we better go. I know she meant well so I felt bad that it ended like that but it was so much for me to try to handle a day after surgery and not knowing what to expect. I had also been in severe pain for 45 minutes waiting for a nurse to give me ANYTHING. I sobbed that I was sorry. My husband had taken off to meet someone at our house who wanted to bring food and thought no one would be there after they had drove 30 mins to drop stuff off so my mom & Barbara left with the kids and my friend Joe stayed with me until someone came back to stay with me.
I felt bad and cried to him that I couldn't take it. I couldn't breath at all and was having a total anxiety attack. I had told the nurses several times how much pain I was in too!! Finally I YELLED at them "I am in pain!!! I can't breath and my chest HUUUURTS!!!" Finally they said they'd call my doctor. They did an EKG which I had no idea what that was. I'm like great, is that gonna hurt? Nope. All they did was stick a bunch of stickers to my chest, shoulders and stomach and hook little hooks on the sticker and hit a button and take them off. Didn't hurt at all. Then they brought a xray machine to my room. I'm like oh great, THAT'S gonna be expensive but what was funny is that when they put that huge board behind my back to take an xray that it felt SO good to have my back strait for a minute. They found nothing with the tests which I figured but at least they finally took me serious. I was still crying because it was SO hard to breath in. They gave me pain meds and anxiety meds and finally I was able to relax and was drifting in and out of sleep. All night I was in pain though and the next morning (3rd morning) my doctor comes in to talk to me and I tell him about my pain the day before and my anxiety attack and he says "This is the first I am hearing about it" I was PISSED. I was like WHAT!?!? They told me they called you!! I told him I had no idea what was working because they gave me this and that and the one nurse only wanted to give me 1 of everything and only every 6 hours. He was annoyed and went out there and leaned over the counter and said "did you give her meds every 4 hours?" they told him yes. I was so mad. I said they are lying to you because they did NOT. I said please please make them promise they will give me meds every 4 hours this time. He really yelled at them and I was hopeful.
Hospital food was so gross. The last hospital I have been in it wasn't too bad, in fact it was delicious but this place was terrible. They brought me dried out turkey with what I assume was salt flavored gravy and cubed carrots that looked like the Gerber jars of cut up carrots LOL Oh and a vanilla milkshake that had melted into foam. I was like wtf I can't eat this!!! I coughed even trying to swallow the turkey it was so dry. I was like don't they know I had throat surgery!??!? I finally was given a half a sandwich which took me 3 hours to eat due to pain but it was really good. They did have great desserts though. This lemon bar was to die for and now I just have been craving lemon bars!!
Now that my lying nurses had been yelled at I was suddenly getting attention and meds when I needed them and on time. Thank god cause I was really hurting. The last day was much better as far as consistancy but I was scared because here we were 3rd day and I was in terrible pain and had no improvements. The doctor called and said he wouldn't relase me until the next day and that my other surgeon would be in to do it. My doc was going on vacation and he kept showing up without his doctor coat and I'd say "you're not on vacation yet" LOL!!
That morning they said I could take a shower. Ummm. I can't move how do I do that? Well with a help from a friend of course. I said well now I am truly humble and you know you're friends when you have to shower together and get you butt washed by them. LMAO!!! I was very grateful for Barbara who really went the extra mile to help in cleaning all of our family it seemed! LOL She was an amazing trooper and is leaving later today. I am sad to see her go actually. I feel a little anxiety over it because her help has been so calming to know she is there.
I was finally released even though it took them an hour and a half to get a wheelchair and check us out. The drive home was painful because every accelerating moment or breaking made me move my neck and it was terrible. Barbara & I were both stressed out during the ride!
Now its 8am and I have typed for over an hour in the dark. Chris' boss called yesterday and told him that he had to work at least 9 hours to get enough time to keep our insurance since he is a full time worker and only has 3-4 days of sick time. So they had him come in from 5am-9am and tomorrow too. I told him I was so sorry. He wasn't worried about it but I felt bad.
Today I will probably sleep most of the day and get up to say goodbye to Barbara and cry a bit. I'll end up trying to relax and crochet I'm sure. I am still in terrible pain all day long & am not supposed to even lift over 8 lbs. I already got our first bill from one of my doctors. They don't waste time!!!
Surgery was Monday morning. I was scared as hell. Shit, its over & I'm still scared. Like it was so added up that now I'm still stuck in this scared tunnel. Chris took me to the hospital. Barbara had arrived 2 nights before and I was grateful because I couldn't bear to say goodbye to my kids in the morning. I was so afraid I was going to die but didn't tell anyone cause of course I got the "geesh you're not going to die" yea fine, easy for you to say!!! You have NO idea how this feels! ugh!! Anyway, they gave me my complimentary bracelet & we waited nervously. There was another guy in the waiting room with his wife. They were in seperate chairs, obviously not in love like we are. Another Asian man who looked annoyed reading some tech magazine, an older man drinking coffee w/ his leg crossed and white hair who made me think of my grandpa. (I miss my grandpa) Another set of girls came in, probably in their late 20's who were surprisingly happy. One girl pulls out a bra and little pouches to show her friend how she would stuff it. I'm thinking, I wonder if she is getting a mastectomy or if she has cancer too. I wanted to ask her and kinda not be alone in this waiting room... as in not the only one waiting for cancer surgery. First guy was obviously having foot surgery and others were just "waiters" for whoever they came with. Although that didn't sound nice in my head, gee hope she has cancer too. I'd never even see the poor girl again. I never had enough courage to ask and her boobs were big so maybe she was getting a reduction? LOL She was far too happy to be getting a mastectomy I thought.
Studying the strange glass walls that looked like glass lined w/ spider web stuff from Halloween they finally called my name and I stood and swallowed hard as I followed the lady. I said can't my husband come? She said no we will come get him. Already welling up because I didn't want to go w/out him into the unknown I followed her into a tiny room where they gave me a garment bag and asked about my nose ring. I said I wanted to keep it in until surgery so it doesn't close and started to cry. She said is this too hard for you? Do you want your husband? I nodded as I sobbed silently and starred at the wall. She went and got a nurses approval to have him with me anyway and I got undressed and put on a gown and got into the tiny bed that was like ambulance sized. They covered me with a paper blanket that suddenly had a hose going into it and it was blowing hot air and filling up. I was glad cause I was shaking and watching the door for Chris' face to appear. He finally did and I said I was scared. He nodded, smiled and sat next to me while they asked me tons of questions about medication and family history.
An anesthesiologist came in with a bright do-rag on his head. Why do they always wear those? Everyone I've had always has. I smiled cause I thought it was funny and told him that I don't numb, don't respond to pain meds well and that my nerves are so sensitive that it hurts when someone even pokes my arm with their finger. Told him my mom and grandma are the same way and that for some reason doctors always like to make me go through a lot of pain before believing me and that I could feel part of my first c-section so if he could just believe me that it would be great. He said he would and said do you want something now for anxiety. Already crying I nodded cause I just couldn't take the stress. After he gave me 2 things I remember people talking but not much else. I know I was still awake but I think I already started blocking it from my memory. I remember my husband saying bye to me and being wheeled away thinking, please god, let me wake up and not die and leave him behind. I remember them moving me to another bed and saying "Mitzi, were moving you, this is like a raft....." and then I drifted back to sleep.
I woke up in my room and saw my husbands arm and my friend Dora. I called him over and I was scared and hoping that I wasn't dreaming. I even in my sleepy state told my friend how she looked thinner. They got a kick out of that! lol
The nurses came in every 2 hours to give me morphine which wasn't helping. I remembered how much pain I was in and it wasn't working. They tried percocet and dilaudid next with morphine in between. Never keeping it consistent with what they gave or even in time increments I was getting very frustrated. The next day I told the doctor I was in really bad pain and that's when they tried dilaudid and morphine only. He said they'd give it to me all day consistently every 4 hours or so. That whole night was terrible.
I had several visitors this 2nd day which was nice because when I had Ethan I was very lonely and cried because no one came to see me. Now I am blessed to have so many more friends who came to comfort me. One friend showed with her 3 year old daughter which gave me anxiety because she was being adorable and dancing around but I was afraid she was going to bump my bed or jump up on it and pull my drains. I told my friend and she of course understood and moved her daughter to the side of the room. But then my mom shows up w/ my kids and Barbara. Both my kids look terrified and this immediately sent me into an anxiety attack. They said surprise and I wanted to cry my eyes out. My kids looked so freaked out, I couldn't move and now my room was full of people (5 adults & 3 kids not counting me) Ethan ran to my mom around my bed and Dylan was immediately at my side saying "hi mommy, are you ok?" I was so upset. I knew this was supposed to be a nice surprise but it was so stressful for me and my poor babies faces were terrified. My mom was trying to hug me and Dylan was trying to cling to me and I lost it. I just started sobbing SO loud. I couldn't handle the anxiety of all these kids in my room and the pain. My friend with the 3 year old left and I felt terrible for making her feel bad and then my mom says we better go. I know she meant well so I felt bad that it ended like that but it was so much for me to try to handle a day after surgery and not knowing what to expect. I had also been in severe pain for 45 minutes waiting for a nurse to give me ANYTHING. I sobbed that I was sorry. My husband had taken off to meet someone at our house who wanted to bring food and thought no one would be there after they had drove 30 mins to drop stuff off so my mom & Barbara left with the kids and my friend Joe stayed with me until someone came back to stay with me.
I felt bad and cried to him that I couldn't take it. I couldn't breath at all and was having a total anxiety attack. I had told the nurses several times how much pain I was in too!! Finally I YELLED at them "I am in pain!!! I can't breath and my chest HUUUURTS!!!" Finally they said they'd call my doctor. They did an EKG which I had no idea what that was. I'm like great, is that gonna hurt? Nope. All they did was stick a bunch of stickers to my chest, shoulders and stomach and hook little hooks on the sticker and hit a button and take them off. Didn't hurt at all. Then they brought a xray machine to my room. I'm like oh great, THAT'S gonna be expensive but what was funny is that when they put that huge board behind my back to take an xray that it felt SO good to have my back strait for a minute. They found nothing with the tests which I figured but at least they finally took me serious. I was still crying because it was SO hard to breath in. They gave me pain meds and anxiety meds and finally I was able to relax and was drifting in and out of sleep. All night I was in pain though and the next morning (3rd morning) my doctor comes in to talk to me and I tell him about my pain the day before and my anxiety attack and he says "This is the first I am hearing about it" I was PISSED. I was like WHAT!?!? They told me they called you!! I told him I had no idea what was working because they gave me this and that and the one nurse only wanted to give me 1 of everything and only every 6 hours. He was annoyed and went out there and leaned over the counter and said "did you give her meds every 4 hours?" they told him yes. I was so mad. I said they are lying to you because they did NOT. I said please please make them promise they will give me meds every 4 hours this time. He really yelled at them and I was hopeful.
Hospital food was so gross. The last hospital I have been in it wasn't too bad, in fact it was delicious but this place was terrible. They brought me dried out turkey with what I assume was salt flavored gravy and cubed carrots that looked like the Gerber jars of cut up carrots LOL Oh and a vanilla milkshake that had melted into foam. I was like wtf I can't eat this!!! I coughed even trying to swallow the turkey it was so dry. I was like don't they know I had throat surgery!??!? I finally was given a half a sandwich which took me 3 hours to eat due to pain but it was really good. They did have great desserts though. This lemon bar was to die for and now I just have been craving lemon bars!!
Now that my lying nurses had been yelled at I was suddenly getting attention and meds when I needed them and on time. Thank god cause I was really hurting. The last day was much better as far as consistancy but I was scared because here we were 3rd day and I was in terrible pain and had no improvements. The doctor called and said he wouldn't relase me until the next day and that my other surgeon would be in to do it. My doc was going on vacation and he kept showing up without his doctor coat and I'd say "you're not on vacation yet" LOL!!
That morning they said I could take a shower. Ummm. I can't move how do I do that? Well with a help from a friend of course. I said well now I am truly humble and you know you're friends when you have to shower together and get you butt washed by them. LMAO!!! I was very grateful for Barbara who really went the extra mile to help in cleaning all of our family it seemed! LOL She was an amazing trooper and is leaving later today. I am sad to see her go actually. I feel a little anxiety over it because her help has been so calming to know she is there.
I was finally released even though it took them an hour and a half to get a wheelchair and check us out. The drive home was painful because every accelerating moment or breaking made me move my neck and it was terrible. Barbara & I were both stressed out during the ride!
Now its 8am and I have typed for over an hour in the dark. Chris' boss called yesterday and told him that he had to work at least 9 hours to get enough time to keep our insurance since he is a full time worker and only has 3-4 days of sick time. So they had him come in from 5am-9am and tomorrow too. I told him I was so sorry. He wasn't worried about it but I felt bad.
Today I will probably sleep most of the day and get up to say goodbye to Barbara and cry a bit. I'll end up trying to relax and crochet I'm sure. I am still in terrible pain all day long & am not supposed to even lift over 8 lbs. I already got our first bill from one of my doctors. They don't waste time!!!
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